new epilogue – too cheesy?

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3 Responses to new epilogue – too cheesy?

  1. Natasha Sandmeier says:

    it’s too fast. You are making a huge point very very quickly at the end. I would flesh it out more so that you really have time to deliver the idea. At the moment each point has a different paragraph. let an idea sit and develop for a few sentences before moving on.

  2. Felix Brinkhege says:

    ok, will make the last part longer then.

  3. Natasha Sandmeier says:

    Not just longer. deeper, too.